Can People Disagree with You?

Most leaders are rarely told they are wrong. This article explores how leaders can create psychological safety for respectful disagreement through four areas: reflect, respond, reinforce, and respect.

No one likes being told they are wrong, which is why most leaders are rarely told they are wrong. Most employees have been conditioned to be wary of telling their supervisor that something they said or decided was wrong, even when done respectfully.

Being a leader doesn’t create a world where everything you say is right. Leaders should still have the final say in decisions, but a great leader understands there will be times when they are wrong.

Great leadership means creating psychological safety for employees to share their thoughts, even when those thoughts challenge something a leader has said or decided.

This isn’t carte blanche for employees to argue every decision. There needs to be balance. Employees should feel safe challenging a decision, but that doesn’t mean they get to make the final decision. Balance cannot happen if leaders are not open to the possibility that someone else may have a better idea.

Reflect, Respond, Reinforce, Respect

As with so much of leadership, it starts by looking at ourselves first. There are four areas leaders can consider: reflect, respond, reinforce, and respect.

Reflect. Think about the last time an employee gave you an idea that differed from yours or questioned a decision you made. Did you listen, or were you already thinking about how you were going to explain why you’re right?

It is easy to say we want employees to speak up when what they have to say agrees with us.

It is easy to say we want employees to speak up when what they have to say agrees with us. It becomes much harder when they don't.

Respond. An employee who respectfully challenges a decision may have information we do not have. They may work more closely with a process, customer, or problem and see something we cannot see.

Sometimes, after listening, we may realize the employee was right. Other times, we may listen and still move forward with our original decision. Not every situation can become a debate or group decision.

Reinforce. What happens after the disagreement may be just as important as what happened during it. Was the employee shown appreciation for sharing their perspective? Did our behavior toward them change? Did we make them regret saying anything at all?

We can tell employees that our door is always open and their opinion is valued, but our reactions tell them whether we actually mean it. If an employee respectfully disagrees with us and walks away feeling like they should have kept their mouth shut, chances are they will think twice before doing it again.

Respect. Leaders need to encourage employees to think for themselves, bring forward different ideas, and respectfully challenge assumptions. Employees also need to understand that being heard does not mean their recommendation will be chosen.

We want employees to think for themselves and solve problems. But no one is going to feel fully engaged if they are only allowed to have opinions when those opinions agree with the person in charge.

Would They Disagree With You Again?

Think about the last time an employee respectfully questioned one of your decisions.

How did you respond?

And maybe the more important question is: after that interaction, would that employee feel safe doing it again?

Whether you lead here in Yuma or anywhere across the country, if you want support building a team where people feel safe to respectfully disagree with you, I'd love to talk. Schedule a consultation.

Let's Talk!